Anymore
by The Last Letter
Summary: Bones is engaged. This is Booth's POV on the night her fiance holds a small party. It ends up B/B one-shot


_I can't hide the way _

_I feel about you anymore _

_I can't hold the hurt inside, keep the pain out of my eyes anymore _

I look across the room and she's smiling, happy. She's comfortable in a crowd, which doesn't happen very often. She's leaning into him, and he's looking down at her with this goofy smile on his face. She looks back at him with the same expression, and my heart aches. How long have I wanted for her to look at me like that? How long had I hoped for her to be mine? I'd lost my chance, it seemed, because she was happy, engaged, to some other man.

_My tears no longer waiting _

_My resistance ain't that strong _

_My mind keeps recreating a life with you alone _

_And I'm tired of pretending that I don't love you anymore _

She takes a sip out of the glass of champagne she's holding. Someone tells a joke, and she laughs. She laughs so easily when she's with him. I'm jealous. I want to be him. I never thought that they would become so close. I thought it would be a date, maybe two, and then I would never have to hear about him again. Those of us she worked with would become the only ones she talked too. It had happened before. I glared at the blonde man. Why was he different?

_Let me make one last appeal to show you how I feel about you_

_Cause there's no one else I swear, holds a candle, anywhere, next to you _

_My heart can't take the beating of not having you to hold _

You come over to me. "Why are you hanging back here all alone? I'm usually the loner." She jokes. I laugh too, just because it was her that said it.

"I guess I was just thinking of embarrassing stories to tell your fiancé." I have to force the word out, but I manage. I think I even convince her that I was telling the truth. I doubt she would have paid any attention, no matter the circumstances, I was always saying things like that.

"There's not much to tell."

I roll my eyes at her. "We've been partners and friends for how long now?" She doesn't answer, and I don't expect her too. Besides, I know her life story by now, as she knows mine. "Does he know you don't have a T.V.? Because we males need our T.V."

"We've been living together for months now, he brought his own T.V." She tells me.

"Come out on the balcony with me." I suggest, desperate to have her to myself for a few moments tonight.

"Why?" She asks, looking back at the partygoers, who barely seem to have noticed her absence.

I shrug. "To give you an opportunity to take off for the lab." I hold open the balcony door. "You'll get a head start." I smile at her, and to my delight, she smiles back.

_A small voice keeps repeating deep inside my soul . . . _

_It says I can't keep pretending that I don't love you anymore_

_I've got to take the chance or let it pass by _

_If I expect to get on with my life _

We go out onto the balcony. She grips the railing and leans out to look at the city. "It's so beautiful at night."

_Not as beautiful as you_, I think. Out loud I say, "Getting all poetic, are we?" I refrain from calling her Bones, just because I don't want to have work worm its way out here.

"It's not really poetry Booth." I half expected a long lecture, and am glad when silence takes over. She sighs.

"Something wrong?" I ask, because she's my friend, and friends can ask this kind of thing.

"I never thought I'd get married." She admits, looking back inside to watch the blonde entertain his guests. I am the only one of her friends here, though I'm surprised Angela didn't come.

"But now that you are . . . ?" I prompt in a gentle voice, not wanting to scare her, and make her think that I was trying to push her around. I knew to take my time with her, I'd learned that long ago. I follow her gaze to the inside. Question is, did he know it?

"Now that I am, I almost wish it was someone else." She says this quietly, as though she is ashamed.

"Then why marry him?" She looks up at me, eyes shining.

"I don't know. I already said yes, and I do love him, in a way." She runs her finger along the wood of the railing.

"That's not fair to you, or him. Or to the man who you should be with." I surprise myself when I say this.

"The man I should be with?" She questions. "Why do you bring up him?" She talks about him as though they have already met.

"I . . ." I falter, and wonder, should I tell her? She I tell her that I want to be that man? I think she deserves to know, to let her make the choice, but if she still chooses him, what will it do to our friendship? Our partnership? I shrug instead of a verbal answer.

She looks back inside, and gasp. Her fiancé has his arms wrapped around a blonde, his lips are on hers, and they are hidden behind a curtain, so only those on the balcony could see them. I see the hurt run through her before she covers it up with the mask she has worn so much before.

I lay a hand on her arm, but she brushes me off, going over to knock on the window. They look up, surprised. He looks ashamed, but the blonde stares her down. She shakes her head at the both of them, and slowly, deliberately, removes her engagement ring. She sets it down on the deck, and turns away. She walks down the deck steps, and out onto the street. After glaring at the couple, I race after her.

_And I can't hide the way I feel about you anymore _

_And I can't hold the hurt inside, keep the pain out of my eyes anymore_

_My tears no longer waiting _

_Oh, my resistance ain't that strong _

_Oh, my mind keeps recreating a love with you alone _

_And I'm tired of pretending I don't love you anymore . . . anymore . . . anymore_

I grab her arm again, and this time she stops. There are tears in her eyes, and I brush them away with my thumb. We stare at each other for a moment, suddenly she is hugging me. I hold her close as she sobs on my shoulder. I rub her back, hoping to comfort her. By the time she has cried herself out my jacket is soaked, but I could care less. I wrap an arm around her shoulders.

"You can stay at my house tonight." I offer.

She nods. "Thank you." It is the barest whisper, and I pull her closer. I hand her into the passenger seat of my car, and close the door. While walking around to the driver's side, I think about the events of tonight. It will take her a long time to get over this new hurt, I am sure. When she is ready though, I will tell her how I feel. I almost lost her once, and I am not willing to take that chance again.

Confident in my decision, I climb into the car and smile at the beautiful woman sitting next to me. I am tired of covering up my feelings for her and I will feel only relief when the time comes to tell her. All I can do now is wait for that day, and hope that, when it comes, she loves me as I love her.

**I do not own **_**Bones**_**. This is my first attempt at a songfic, and the song is **_**Anymore**_** by Travis Tritt.**

**~DI4MGZ~**


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